Are we still resilient if we cry through it?

Historically resilience has been defined by grit, determination and stoicism. But is there a flip side to this coin? The stiff upper lip in response to tough love is one way to build resilience. Perhaps, it is also a way to cultivate escape strategies from a painful reality or deny your emotional experiences? 

What if crying through the pain was still revered with as much respect and toughness as stoicism? What if it was ok, to appear to be not ok, and still doing the thing? What if that still makes us brave, to show the fear and do it anyway?

Rhonda Rousey, former UFC fighter, admits she cried through her Judo competitions if she lost in any round. (No matter how many others she won.) She is regarded as one of the best and most innovative fighters in her industry. I figure if it’s ok for her to cry and do the hard thing, maybe we could expand our understanding of resilience. 

How many times have you pretended you were ok when you were dealing with really tough things? How many times did you show up for your people when you felt empty yourself? How many times have you kept going amidst tears streaming down your face?

Life can be long. Having grit and determination seem to be a byproduct of living. Continuing to exist will inevitably require resilience. So if it happens naturally, why not replace the judgement and silence, with compassion? 

Tears are merely our body’s way of communicating overwhelm, a release of pressure in the system. We wouldn’t shame a pot for steaming as the temperature rose so why do we do it to ourselves?

If you have a mean inner critic perhaps Ease Communication can help you befriend your thoughts.

WIth Kindness,